Emotional blackmail

Emotional Blackmail is a form of psychological manipulation in which a person seeks to control another individual's behavior through the use of fear, obligation, or guilt (FOG). This term was popularized by psychotherapist Susan Forward in her 1997 book "Emotional Blackmail: When the People in Your Life Use Fear, Obligation, and Guilt to Manipulate You".

Definition

Emotional blackmail is a powerful form of manipulation in which people close to us threaten, either directly or indirectly, to punish us if we don't do what they want. The punishment can range from explicit rejection to subtle forms of emotional withdrawal. The blackmailer uses fear, obligation, and guilt in their relationships, ensuring that others feel afraid to cross them, obligated to give them their way, and swamped by guilt if they resist.

Types of Emotional Blackmail

There are four main types of emotional blackmail, which are often used in combination:

1. Punishers - They make it clear that they will make others suffer if they don't comply.
2. Self-punishers - They threaten to hurt themselves if they don't get their way.
3. Sufferers - They emphasize their frailty to get what they want.
4. Tantalizers - They offer a promise, but only if their demands are met.

Effects

The effects of emotional blackmail can be devastating, leading to feelings of helplessness, despair, and guilt. It can also lead to anxiety, depression, and in severe cases, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

Coping Strategies

Coping with emotional blackmail involves recognizing the patterns of manipulation, setting boundaries, and seeking professional help if necessary. It's important to remember that emotional blackmail is not about love, but about power and control.

See Also

• Psychological manipulation
• Gaslighting
• Narcissistic abuse
• Codependency

References

• Forward, Susan. Emotional Blackmail: When the People in Your Life Use Fear, Obligation, and Guilt to Manipulate You. HarperCollins, 1997.