Limerence

Limerence is a state of mind which results from a romantic attraction to another person and typically includes obsessive thoughts and fantasies and a desire to form or maintain a relationship with the object of love and have one's feelings reciprocated. Limerence can also be defined as an involuntary state of intense romantic desire.

History

The term was coined by psychologist Dorothy Tennov in her 1979 book Love and Limerence: The Experience of Being in Love. She interviewed 500 people on the topic of love, and concluded that there were two different types of love: "limerence," which she described as, in part, "an involuntary interpersonal state that involves intrusive, obsessive, and compulsive thoughts, feelings, and behaviors that are contingent on perceived emotional reciprocation from the object of interest" and "non-limerence."

Characteristics

Limerence, according to Tennov, includes a series of common characteristics. Almost all limerents experience a noticeable, often rapid, onset of limerence that occurs after a period of initial interest in the limerent object (LO). This is followed by an increase in thoughts about the LO and a desire for reciprocation. Other characteristics include acute longing for reciprocation, fear of rejection, and unsettling shyness in the LO's presence. In cases of unrequited limerence, transient relief may be found by vividly imagining reciprocation from the LO.

Effects

The effects of limerence can be both positive and negative. On the positive side, limerence can result in intense feelings of joy, and can inspire creativity and motivation. On the negative side, it can cause distress and interfere with one's daily life and responsibilities. It can also lead to depression and other mental health issues if not managed properly.

Treatment

Treatment for limerence is not typically sought unless it becomes problematic for the limerent individual or their interpersonal relationships. In such cases, therapy or counseling may be beneficial. Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) can be particularly effective, as it helps individuals to understand and change thought patterns that lead to troublesome feelings or behaviors.

See also

• Love addiction
• Obsessive love
• Unrequited love
• Romantic love

References

Limerence Resources
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